You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do. – Henry Ford

Nobody likes a work in progress. It took me a while to summarise the essence of all the problems I’ve had into those few, straightforward words.

I came to this realisation recently, and it’s true, whether you’re talking about women, employment, socialising, art, careers, personality or about life. Unless you’re in a position where you have something completely sorted out, nobody will give you the time of day. Notice how, at the conclusion of every reality show ever made, almost nothing is mentioned about the person who came second.

I can give you a number of other examples:

• a work of art that would never sell in an auction, or get displayed in a museum, until it’s been completed.
• the woman who won’t return to her partner until he “sorts out his issues”.
• the person who demands you stop talking to them until you “think more positive”.
• the fact you can’t get a job because you’re lacking in experience, even though you have the skills.
• someone who won’t give you any leeway because you’re a few pounds short of paying off a bill.
• that girl you really like who isn’t impressed because you’ve only started to build muscles.

And so on. The point I’m trying to make is that if you have issues you have to fix before you can move on, very few people, if anybody, will stick around or even try to help you. They will only resurface when and if you’ve sorted them out.

Remember that story you’ve probably heard in primary school, about the mother who was baking a cake and wanted her child/children to help. Nobody wanted to help mother with the basic steps to making the cake, such as mixing the ingredients or turning the oven on. But of course, everybody wanted a piece of the cake.

People gravitate towards leaders and winners, because they’re seen as people who have everything in a state of completion. Anything that isn’t in a state of completion – even if you can’t see it – is considered “not good enough”.

To quote Will Ferrell in Talladega Nights: “If you’re not first, you’re last.” Being (or having) a work in progress is virtually the same thing as being/having nothing at all in people’s eyes.