I can now proudly announce that the last of the Thai Chilli packs has been devoured… obviously not in soup form. I’d made another one of those poppadom/crisp/cake/whatthefucks a little earlier, and though it was burned around the edges it tasted much better than the soup would have.
But let’s be honest; since last night, I’ve been feeling miserable.
First of all, last night was the first time I’d tried the caramel shake powder. It’s easily the most disgusting flavour out of the five I’ve had, and the most disappointing as it had so much potential.
Having tried both the thicker and thinner kind of caramel shakes, I can safely say that it’s probably more suited to making a microwave pudding.
I’ve also thought about how much weight I’ve lost – or not. Though I generally feel lighter on my feet, my body tells me another story about my weight: my stomach has the same amount of fat, my ass is still huge, and my thighs are constantly touching.
Of course, it would be unrealistic to expect overnight miracles. But I’ve heard of people losing as much as 12 lbs in their first week, and I want to be one of those people. I won’t be satisfied unless I’ve lost at least 7 lbs.
More importantly, I’ve begun to feel very lonely.
As DREWspective readers know full well, I don’t have a significant other. (Please don’t give me any sympathy on that one.) As far as I know, many – if not all – of the other LighterLife dieters have a significant other, and in that they have an incredible advantage.
The main reason I’m on this diet is to eliminate one or more of the many excuses women have as to why I am “not allowed” to date. It would also help me feel better about myself, as my weight and eating have always been an issue.
The only problem is, I still don’t feel like I can go out and meet people. Even online, once a refuge for people like me, “normal” people have turned dating sites, online communities and social groups into “real life”. If there were any advantages for nerds and non-socialites on the Internet, they’ve long disappeared.
The only alternative to a lack of female company is… well, let’s hope I don’t go there.
And let’s not forget one thing: all the time I’m stuck eating this freaking powder and drinking only water, food is constantly in my face. Last week Friday they started printing offer vouchers for McDonalds, and the new Meat Beast burger came out at Burger King. Since then, all kinds of tempting meal opportunities have sprung up.
Today was the first time I walked into a supermarket and shuddered at the sight of food, whether it was biscuits, crisps or dairy products.
When I left the supermarket (having bought water and some toiletries), I was rewarded with two different people sitting down, eating some of the chunkiest, most tasty-looking sandwiches I’d ever seen! One of them was eating a sausage bap, with three thick sausages in a white roll. The other was eating a chicken baguette or something.
And I had to have a fucking Thai Chilli pack?!
But I have to remind myself that it won’t be forever, even though the remaining 50 days is a long time. I’ve been through far worse, even life-threatening situations, and I’ve always come out of it alive.
I tell you: don’t be surprised if I start crying once I get to eat real food.