DREWspective

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

– Frank Outlaw

Just out of curiosity, I’ve just done a sweeping search for DREWspective using the search term "drew weblog". Just skimming through the results, I came across what looked like a review for this weblog!

Going by the fragment of text I saw, and a feeling of deja vu, I was far too scared to read futher.

It got me thinking about the whole writing a weblog thing, and the whole expressing yourself thing. It’s not as easy as it looks to maintain a weblog, especially if it’s personal in nature and you want to get to the top of whatever list. Contrary to popular belief, you can’t say anything you like; even if nobody comments on your weblog, there will always be someone watching what you say.

I remember full well the first time I tried to maintain a weblog, and that was a horror I’m determined never to go back to (I got into a little trouble for expressing myself, if you get my drift).  I have gone off on one a couple of times on this weblog, but for the most part the content is toned down from before; I don’t talk about sex or violence nearly as much and as far as I know, I haven’t made a single comment that could be construed as racist.

That doesn’t stop me worrying about the odd review coming up, however.  I suppose when it comes to being evaluated I have a very thin skin; I’m always afraid that I’d be brought up on something that I’d let slip, or that what I’m doing is completely wrong. Feedback of any kind scares me, even if I invite it.

I remember Jim Rohn saying in one of his recordings that language was extremely important in business; that bad language was perfectly acceptable to those who use bad language, but good language is almost never offensive.
As I’m committed to make a name for myself, and at the same time worried about having a bad reputation, I feel I should start being very careful about what I write from now on.  I don’t want your average, callous person knowing too much about my personal life.  On the other hand, I am a very emotional, somewhat "furious" person who has to get things off their chest, so I argue that I should be able to do so.

I just hope that not too many of you have been offended by some of the content here, and I will try to keep the tone as "professional" as possible in future.

Today I’ve added a new category for my posts here on DREWspective: language. I think it’s important enough to warrant having its own category.

Language—here in the UK at least—is something that people either piss on or use as a manipulative tool. Some people either deliberately misspell words they don’t even know the meaning of, or they use words to control people. Maybe even both.

Nowhere is it more abused than in schools and educational establishments, which is unforgivable in my book as you’re dealing with kids. But you’ve also got to watch out for it at work. I’ve been in my current job for just under two months, and already I’ve heard a series of disturbing, common language themes. (You may have heard me mention it before.)

We’ll start today with one that recently cropped up, and one of my all-time most hated pet hates:

Need.

When someone tells you they need something.

When someone tells you they need you to do something.

When someone tells you that you need to do something.

When someone tells you that something needs to be done.

Some of you reading this will probably say, "do you really need to talk about this?" I rather stupidly asked about it on Yahoo! Answers once, and got a very similar answer. To those people: fuck you, I’m talking.

Wayne Dyer said in one of his audiobooks that a need is something that, if you don’t have it, will immobilise you.

I’ve certainly had times where I felt I really "needed" something: the foam shapes from the US, for example, is something I "need" to continue making the chibiModels, so until them I "can’t" continue work on them. But there you go; I put can’t in quotes, because there are other things (such as painting the heads) that I could do.

You’ve probably heard people talk about how some people feel they "need" a particular thing to be happy, to be rich, or to progress to the next level. Without this thing, they feel like they can’t change. It’s like when you have a craving for a particular food, and you can eat as much of any other kind of food as you want, but unless you have that food, you won’t be satisfied.

There are of course times when the need is genuine. The only basic needs for people are oxygen and water (in my opinion), but some people could have a few more. I’d argue that having faith in something is also a need, even if it’s having faith in not having faith.

My beef, is with people who use the word need as a controlling force. These are people who throw it around, like a sadistic master goes around whipping their slaves, or someone who feels the need to put a curse—or "lol"—in every single sentence. These people are only interested in manipulating others, and the word "need" is usually synonymous with "getting people to do" something.

There are much more relevant alternatives: is required; this must be; I would like; I want; is supposed to; and many more. There’s no excuse.

Just remember that you have a right to define for yourself what you "need"; don’t let anyone define your "needs" for you. As Brian Tracy once said, just wave one finger at them and move on.

I’ve said it several times before, and will keep saying it until someone wakes up. We are in an age of false advertising, which is being more and more condoned by the powers-that-be. What you see is no longer what you get.

But my rant today is about another facet of advertising; an equally important one.

I’ve had this theory in the last few years that advertisers have turned to annoying, frustrating, criticising, sickening and angering potential customers into buying their products. You only have to see the countless ads (on British TV, anyway) portraying women as superior to men, as well as being told what to believe is bad and good (dull, desaturated colours for “bad”, vibrant, overexposed colours for “good”).
My theory was proven a couple of years ago, when eMule was being spammed by people advertising their modded clients. One of the spam messages ended with the following words:

“think about it, idiot”

My initial response was like most other people’s response; close the message and go about my business.

But even until this day, that message stuck in my head. Why? Because it triggered anger—a very human and instinctual emotion—and I wanted to smack whoever wrote that message in the head.

Yet another example was a site I came across yesterday, for the ebook The Truth About Abs.
Now, let it be known, I admire a lot of high-profile and successful people who have overcome life’s challenges and made their fortune. My admiration stops, however, when: they start bragging; their catch-all advice is to “get over it”; they point fingers at people who go to them for help; they forget where they came from or what they used to be.

Go to the web site, and not very far below the fold you’ll see a bold red box. And I quote:

“Feel free to leave this site… But realize that you’ll only continue to be frustrated with your flabby stomach for the rest of your life. You’ll only have yourself to blame.”

Let me tell you something, guys. I’d heard a lot of great things about that ebook, and when I visited the site I was contemplating buying it on the spot. But the honest to God truth is, that statement stopped me cold from giving him any of my money.
Call me sensitive, but I refuse to buy from anyone who resorts to fault-finding, name-calling or blaming to sell a product. The guy behind the ebook sounds like someone who could care less about your health, regardless of whether the information in the book is any good.

So why do advertisers resort to using guilt, or name-calling, to sell their products? My only guess is that those offending words help to make the advertisement memorable. The more memorable the ad = the more the potential customer will remember it = the more likely they are to buy, having been irritated.

Personally, I think it’s sick that people have to use underhanded tactics, rather than good customer service and quality products, to make money. But those are the times we live in.

I’m sure many of you have seen similar adverts around; feel free to share.