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Fake Photos

written by Drew | 2010.3 Mon 04 Jan

It’s the end of the Christmas/New Year honeymoon, and I’ve had a massive week off work (not including the weekend). I’m not looking forward to going back to work, but it’s 2.30 AM and I can’t sleep – despite being in bed for the last eight hours! I’ve watched two movies, went on YouTube and Facebook, and did some coding, but it looks like I won’t be sleeping tonight. So I’ve got to rant about something.

Back in the Internet’s infancy, where the mainstream thought it was “sad” to spend anything longer than an hour online, if you were using a chat system or were on a message board/early online community of some kind, you could not get away from people using fake photographs, either to give the impression of being sexy, or simply to get attention. Back then we were still using 35mm (and if you were really shit at taking pictures, APS) cameras, and it was actually rather complicated to have photos digitised, so very few people had pictures of themselves readily available.

These days people demand to see photos of other people, as if it’s absolutely essential to see what someone looks like before talking to them is even possible. Even those who claim they’re not obsessed with looks, or even that “looks don’t matter”, will eventually hound you for a “pic”. (And isn’t it funny how the guy always has to send one first? How did that happen?)

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RIP Jim Rohn

written by Drew | 2009.350 Thu 17 Dec

If you’re familiar with the self-help/motivational speaking circuit, you’ll no doubt know who Jim Rohn is. If you’re not, then he was considered to be one of the “legends” of personal and business development. He’s just one of a handful of names that people like to drop to prove that they know something.

Jim Rohn died on the 5th, after reports that he was ill and undergoing some kind of treatment. It turned out that he was 79 when he died, but he still looked full of life when I saw him in a video presentation.

The one thing that really amazed and even shocked me about Jim Rohn’s death, given his status, is the response from the rest of the self-help/motivational/personal development community…

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Drew’s New Year Message – 2009

written by Drew | 2009.321 Wed 18 Nov

Not sure what to write right now. I could talk your ears off about so-called positive people, observations about relationships from the bench, negativity, bastardised words and so on. Even I think it gets old sometimes.

So I’m going to go ahead – even though Christmas is over a month away – and write my annual New Year’s message.

Last year I encouraged people to think about themselves, as well as others, owing to the experiences I’ve had with genuinely negative people. I’m glad to report that I don’t speak to a single member of that phoney social group any more, and as a result my wounds have been paper over, my social confidence has grown, and my social circles have experienced modest growth.

My message for 2009 is a slight variation of a very popular, often misinterpreted motivational/New Age mantra. If you’ve ever seen my statuses on Facebook then you’ll know what I’m about to say.

If there is anyone in your circles who is negative toward you, drop them.

Like TJ Hoisington said: turn, run and never look back.

Let me set a few ground rules here. If the person in question is guilty of two or more of the following points:

is overly critical of you
gloats about their life
is someone who won’t talk to you, but about you
is always cancelling on you
resorts to silent treatment as a first resort
is a compulsive liar / makes a lot of excuses
is always trying to bringing you down, so they can be happy*
is living off of you
takes a lot more than they give
is a hypocrite
insists that they can do “what they want” but don’t grant you the same courtesy

then they’re someone you’re better off without, with no exception.

* I’m not talking about people having a hard time or in a difficult situation, whom you should always empathise with. I’m talking about people who can’t stand other people having one bit of happiness; they have to be the only person that can be happy.

Again, it’s not always easy to do this – some of the worst offenders will likely be people very close to you. But rest assured that if they have done it before, they will do it again. And again. And again. And again. (Because negative people – not negative thinkers – don’t change.)

As a result of this message I can see myself being dropped from a bunch of people’s circles. That’s fine with me: some people have a problem with me being Mr Ex-Doormat That Decided To Fight Back. But I will be dropping an equal number of people from my circles, and they pretty much know who they are.

In these dark times, when people are being hit from all angles at once, the last thing you need is people sucking the life out of you with their self-serving behaviour. The problem is that the people who do that aren’t always as obvious as one might think.