Self-Help Books

Filed under: Language, Personal — written by Drew on Wednesday, February 20th, 2008 @ 17:38

I read a rather interesting article in one of yesterday’s free evening papers, about the rise of self-help books. They talked about "The Secret", which is apparently the motivational speaking world’s mainstream shot at cinema, as well as the number of books that had come out.

As well as ridiculing the idea that you just had to think positively to get positive results, they made an interesting comment at the end: that the only way to get rich, it seems, is to write your own self-help book.

I remember making this comment (to myself) years ago, when I was first introduced to motivational speakers and self-help coaches. I certainly thought that comment about T Harv Eker—the first high profile person whose book I bought, as a result of listening to Achievement Radio—after hearing some of his other material. He might have made millions with his businesses, but he seems to make even more money repeating the same things verbatim.

I’ve bought a number of these books in the last couple of years, most of which are from lesser-known authors. I’ve only finished a couple of them: Gifts From Eykis by Wayne Dyer is a very good read, as well as The Fine Art of Small Talk by Debra Fine. The ones about finances and getting rich are out of my league, as they tend to assume you have the money to play with already; they talk about investing and real estate near the end of the book.

Pretty much every self-help book I’ve come across has the same theme about positive thinking—that you have to think positively, stay away from negative people, etc.—and they all seem to rehash the same messages and quotes and references.

There’s another disturbing trend that some people might not notice, and if I ever write a book of my own, I vow never to follow that trend.

Attacking the person who is reading the book.

In about 80% of the books I’ve made a start on reading, there’s usually a dedicated chapter on how you are supposedly at fault for your current situation; how you are responsible for everything that happens to you; how everybody else is faultless; how you must make all the effort. That’s usually where I put the book down. (99 times out of 100, it’s chapter two. If I remember correctly: David DeAngelo’s book Double Your Dating goes right into it at the first chapter.)

Sometimes it doesn’t stop there. In a book I read by Jeff Keller, there were various digs at the reader (mostly at negative people) scattered throughout the book. Very occasionally, these digs accompany the dedicated chapter of finger-pointing.
I wrote about something like this before, concerning certain people who point fingers at the very people they’re trying to sell to, in which I mentioned that all respect for them on my end goes right out the window. It especially holds true for speakers and "self-help gurus".

I’m not saying that they don’t have a point; I would certainly agree that it is up to us as visionary people to pull through, despite others standing in our way, and i would agree that people make choices that put them in particular positions. But to throw these things in the face of the reader or listener, who came to them for help in the first place, is just plain spiteful.

These days I’ve been listening to a guy named TJ Hoisington, who put out an audiobook called If You Think You Can!. I bought it because of the incredibly powerful and energetic excerpts (and music!) I heard on Achievement Radio; this guy seemed to know what he was talking about.
I was disappointed to find that the three CD recording I purchased from Amazon was one of those seriously toned-down, generic, read-verbatim tapes you find in WH Smiths. Even more disappointing was the obligatory chapter on establishing the reader for being "at fault", which I wasn’t prepared for.

Unfortunately there’s no concrete way of avoiding such text, especially if it stops you from going any further.  But like TJ says on the Achievement Radio version of his recording: if you disagree with an idea, discard it.

Year Of Goals 2008

Filed under: Personal — written by Drew on Monday, December 31st, 2007 @ 19:10

Just before the clock strikes 12 for 2008 in the UK, I’ve compiled a short list of things I want to achieve in the New Year.

I came up with the concept of a Year Of Goals last year, as I saw all the people who made New Year’s resolutions on a whim forget about them pretty much the next day. I decided to make an effort to realise any plans I had, and though I didn’t complete the list I managed to achieve quite a few of them, adding a few more that I hadn’t thought of along the way.

Here is my list for 2008: 29 things I want to achieve. If you find yourself laughing at any of the items on the list, make your own f***ing list.

Year Of Goals 2008 list

  • Take a driving lesson
  • Get your drivers licence
  • Move out, into your own place
  • Experience fine dining
  • Sell £100 worth of art/craft
  • Develop a powerful speaking voice
  • Buy a custom-made suit
  • Reach 235 lbs or less by March 30, 2008
  • Reach 220 lbs or less by July 31, 2008
  • Reach 210 lbs or less by October 31, 2008
  • Reach 210 lbs or less by December 31, 2008
  • Visit New York
  • Visit Canada
  • Join an active hobby group
  • Learn one of: French, German, Portuguese, Japanese
  • Complete your “Happy Book”
  • Have £5000 in savings by December 31, 2008
  • Create an animated movie
  • Get a lap dance
  • Try sushi
  • Have professional photos taken of yourself
  • Cameo in a film
  • Go skydiving
  • Visit a health spa
  • Go go-karting
  • Shoot a gun with live ammunition
  • Eat authentic Japanese food
  • Find a group of people to hang out with
  • Overcome social anxiety