DREWspective

I remember Art Berg (deceased), one of my favourite NSA speakers, saying that most things we fear never come to pass. In recent times, that statement gave me a sense of hope.

The only problem is, sometimes they do.

One of my biggest fears while I was growing up, was falling hopelessly in love with a girl, only for her to run off with some other guy (or several other guys) and rip me to shreds internally.
I haven’t told anyone that before, and I wouldn’t have mentioned it if it hadn’t happened. There was the big thing last year about my world collapsing because of someone whom I thought I was having my first relationship with, but there have been countless other girls who I really wanted to get with, but they chose to date someone brighter, lighter and a whole lot whiter.

That worst fear came true without me having to think about it, even though it was probably in the back of my mind some place. Now that it has happened I’ve grown more cynical, but at the same time there are things I’ve been forced to accept. (Won’t go into those here.)

Most recently, I had to face a very intimidating fear. I wanted to leave my current job (still do), primarily because of the work environment; I felt strongly that it was counter-productive, not just with the job but with my self-esteem and personal development.

I’d been putting it off for months. I’ve only been at this job for seven months, and it would have been the third in a string of short permanent roles since university. Even more threatening was the possible reaction of the boss, who makes a habit of talking over people and throwing their weight around. They talked down to a good friend of mine: someone who left the company after four years. Imagine the bollocking I’d get for just seven months.

But I finally brought it up, and they had a very hard time accepting it as an answer. I did it three times in total, each time thinking about the situation.

And my reward for facing my fear? Verbal abuse. I had my personal life thrown in my face, being rudely talked over, before being left alone and shattered in the room, while the boss congratulated themselves or something.

Have you ever had that? When you’re "encouraged" to open up to people, or told you should be doing something, yet you get attacked when you do? Real healthy, isn’t it? Funnily enough, the only thing that does is make people not want to open up.

So I’m still at the job, and not for the first time in my life I feel trapped. It makes me think about my ultimate worst fear… I’m not going to say what it is.

Believe it or not, the title text is classed as an acceptable bug report in my current workplace.

I’m not joking; I’ve been sent this so-called bug twice before, albeit not recently. Since then, other equally vague "bug reports" have cropped up.

But I can’t retailiate curse at the people responsible, or throw it back at them with a nice little note saying

this isn’t a bug report; try again

or

could you be more vague, please

because - as usual - I would be seen as a troublemaker. I’ve been accused by the same company of being cynical, as I’ve probably mentioned before.

Why I’m still there is beyond me, but I think I should explain further as to why this is so bad.

First of all, the highly descriptive phrase "not working". Worth a shotgun to the head on its own.

The first question that springs to mind is, what is it that isn’t working?
In many of the offending cases, "not working" didn’t have anything to do with backend code (which I shouldn’t have been touching anyway), but instead was a tiny issue with CSS styling.

The second issue with something this stupid is that it wastes your time. Because you have no idea of what is wrong, you spend valuable time going through the code trying to figure out what it is. How deflated would you be if  you spent half an hour trying to decipher the message, only to find out that it referred to text that wasn’t bold?

I could have asked further questions, of course, but I remind you guys that this company condones such shitty "bug reports". If you allow something to happen, you condone it.

And then there’s "pls fix", to which I would leap from my desk and engage in a street fight.

I guess the main thing here is that I don’t like taking orders, especially from someone who is on the same level or lower (but has somehow been elevated in the company). To take orders from someone a thousand times more clueless, however, is an insult.

Maybe I’d have a little more respect if they actually came up with a solution. I mean, in the case of a style change, "make the font bold" would have given me a clue.

(I’m not a fan of "could you make the font bolder" and "can you space it out a little more" style "bug reports", but they at least give some idea of what I’m looking for.)

I’m not an authority on bug reporting, but there are three things that make up a half-decent report in my book.

• What happened: describe the error and what happens.
• How it happened: what you were doing when the error occurred.
• Background information: this includes things like your browser, browser version, screen resolution etc., i.e. anything useful and relevant to the error.

If you can show me any of those three in "not working, pls fix", I will gladly delete all of my web sites and sell all my earthly belongings.

At my current workplace, there’s a printout stuck to someone’s wall with a summary of a speech, allegedly given by Bill Gates at a high school.

It basically highlighted eleven "points": all of which were the typical, sometimes truthful but intentionally spiteful "tough love" platitudes given by arrogant high achievers. The first of these was the successful person’s favourite, Life is not fair - get used to it.

From the time I first read the printout, I dismissed it as bullshit. As rich and in as powerful a position as Bill Gates is, I didn’t seriously think he would say anything that arrogant. Less believable was the idea of him turning up at a school, just to dish that crap out to a few students.

A brief search before now didn’t turn anything relevant up, but after some deeper research, I’ve found out what I’ve suspected all along: that it wasn’t him who said it. Yet again, some bored American bastard decided it would be cool to pretend it was.

In less than a month’s time, the Mayor of London - and I hope to God it’s a new one - will be elected.

Last week, the almost unbelievable happened: a leaflet from the BNP was sent in the post, addressed to nobody in particular. Of course, I didn’t know it was from them until I opened it.

It turns out that they themselves are putting forward a candidate for the mayoral position, with their main issue being the state of the immigration system in the UK. They blamed the wave of immigrants for housing problems, crime, unemployment and a few other things I can’t remember. A selection of people - mostly, if not all white - were quoted as being in agreement, complete with photos.

Now, I ain’t no fool; I don’t trust the BNP with the dead skin off my dick. If they came knocking down my door, offering me a hook-up with a girl just like Valisa, there’s no way I’d give them my vote. (The brown skin takes care of that.)

But, as much I’d hate to admit it, there is one thing myself and the BNP agree upon.

My scope doesn’t extend very far out of London, but it’s obvious, even to the blind, that there are way too many people in this country.  You know there are way too many when you can’t afford to buy a house or even rent, or when you go to work in the morning and find yourself pushing past a solid wall of drones. (Sorry - commuters.)

I thought the situation was "bad" enough years ago, when it seemed eastern Asians were coming over by the plane load. That was nothing, compared to the influx of eastern Europeans, once certain countries were accepted into the European Union. I’ve heard, and am starting to see, Chinese people getting in on the action as well.

Before you call me a racist, I’m not targeting or blaming any particular group of people. Resident Brits are adding to the problem as well, when they have large families and consume more than they need.

No blame, that is, unless we’re talking about the government. At the end of the day, they’ve let all of these people in, usually without any kind of warning (there wasn’t even a limit on the number of Polish people who could enter the country), while providing benefits to those who don’t want to work.

For me, when people complain about immigration and there being too many people coming into the country, it seems to be about what the government calls multiculturalism - or what I call "otherculturalism". Otherculturalism is where the traditions of a particular culture is compromised to make way for outside traditions, to the extent that it gets overridden completely.

Though not restricted to religion, one good example of otherculturalism is Christmas. Is there anyone who isn’t "offended" by something about it these days?

I personally don’t have any problem with anybody of any ethnicity, nationality or so on, as long as they pull their weight and aren’t up their own arse. It’s a cliché, but I mean it.

The problem as I see it - and a few of you think so as well - is when immigrants and people who don’t pull their weight are treated (or at least, perceived to be treated) like royalty, compared to long-standing nationals who work their arses off and get almost nothing back.

There’s that, and the idea (sometimes fact) that these people - foreign or national - separate themselves. Sometimes they choose to do it, but I’ve heard from a Czech girl that the government likes to place immigrants from particular countries in particular areas.

What really doesn’t help - and this is where I see that people get angry - is that the government keeps us in the dark about who the heck these people really are, where they came from and why they’re here; in the meantime they’re suddenly working with you at your job, while strange buildings and weird shops with funny-looking language are being opened in your town.

While I certainly wasn’t angry, I remember being very confused and uninformed, when I’d come home from university in 2002, and found Polish shops in my local area. Back in high school, there were increasing numbers of Somalian kids at one point. Both times, nobody had said a thing. I ended up making a fool of myself.

Before you accuse me of being a racist again, I should mention the biggest culprits of otherculturalism:

Brits.

Have you seen what we’ve (read: you’ve) done to Spain? The Meditteranean? Any other popular holiday destination? If not, I suggest you go to any of those places, during the summer.

"I don’t think my boyfriend would approve."

"My fiancée thinks so too."

"I’ll have to see what my man is doing."

"My husband likes that as well."

Ever had this happen to you in a conversation?

You could be being as sincere as possible, engaging in a conversation on equal terms with someone else, having been single for years (and having people rub it in your face). Then, out of nowhere, they felt the urge to subtly brag about their relationship(s).

This happens anywhere you go, but it’s a growing trend online. After all, nobody has to look you in the eye when they do it, as they hide behind the safety of their computer screen. But I ask, why do people do it?

I actually talked about this once with an old work colleague during a lunch break. They said something deep and very profound back then:

People who brag about anything don’t feel they deserve it.

Till this day, I haven’t seen one example where that hasn’t been true, whether you’re talking about common people or those in the media.

We live in an artificially-generated culture, where - in the words of Dave Ramsey, author of Financial Peace - if we can’t get rich, we have to look rich. Somehow we got the idea that we have to look, act, speak, eat, do, wear, dance, drink, talk, see, shit, pee, breathe, walk, laugh, think, sleep, work, be like everyone else. Or at least, we’re driven to live up to some ideal someone created out of thin air. If you don’t, you’re labelled a freak.

This especially applies to relationships; there’s a lot of pressure to be in a relationship these days, with singles branded as lazy and unattractive, who don’t "get out there and meet people". And it pisses people like me off.

There are some people who claim to be "happy being single"; these are the kind of people who get into relationships like they’d buy groceries. So don’t listen to their bullshit.

It’s as if literally everybody is in a loving relationship these days, particularly if you’re not. And they all seem to be long-term, too. Yet, you often hear about people trading their so-called "forever lovers" for "better" models, people cheating on each other, and generally treating their partners like shit.

When you take a step back, I wouldn’t be surprised if there are people in relationships just so they can say they’re in one, or to spite someone else.

Anyway, whether you’d want to continue any form of contact with someone who throws having a partner in your face, is up to you. What you make of it is up to you. But in my book, the same thing can be said of these kinds of people as thieves, cheats and liars.