Not sure what to write right now. I could talk your ears off about so-called positive people, observations about relationships from the bench, negativity, bastardised words and so on. Even I think it gets old sometimes.
So I’m going to go ahead – even though Christmas is over a month away – and write my annual New Year’s message.
Last year I encouraged people to think about themselves, as well as others, owing to the experiences I’ve had with genuinely negative people. I’m glad to report that I don’t speak to a single member of that phoney social group any more, and as a result my wounds have been paper over, my social confidence has grown, and my social circles have experienced modest growth.
My message for 2009 is a slight variation of a very popular, often misinterpreted motivational/New Age mantra. If you’ve ever seen my statuses on Facebook then you’ll know what I’m about to say.
If there is anyone in your circles who is negative toward you, drop them.
Like TJ Hoisington said: turn, run and never look back.
Let me set a few ground rules here. If the person in question is guilty of two or more of the following points:
- is overly critical of you
- gloats about their life
- is someone who won’t talk to you, but about you
- is always cancelling on you
- resorts to silent treatment as a first resort
- is a compulsive liar / makes a lot of excuses
- is always trying to bringing you down, so they can be happy*
- is living off of you
- takes a lot more than they give
- is a hypocrite
- insists that they can do “what they want” but don’t grant you the same courtesy
then they’re someone you’re better off without, with no exception.
* I’m not talking about people having a hard time or in a difficult situation, whom you should always empathise with. I’m talking about people who can’t stand other people having one bit of happiness; they have to be the only person that can be happy.
Again, it’s not always easy to do this – some of the worst offenders will likely be people very close to you. But rest assured that if they have done it before, they will do it again. And again. And again. And again. (Because negative people – not negative thinkers – don’t change.)
As a result of this message I can see myself being dropped from a bunch of people’s circles. That’s fine with me: some people have a problem with me being Mr Ex-Doormat That Decided To Fight Back. But I will be dropping an equal number of people from my circles, and they pretty much know who they are.
In these dark times, when people are being hit from all angles at once, the last thing you need is people sucking the life out of you with their self-serving behaviour. The problem is that the people who do that aren’t always as obvious as one might think.
Tags: Compulsive Liar, Experiences, Facebook, Hypocrite, Mantra, New Age, new year, New Year Message, Silent Treatment, Social Circles, Social Confidence, Social Group, Statuses, Wounds