This post was originally called “Positive People: a DREWspective on what they are”. I’ve since renamed it because I thought it was inaccurate.
The following post was written based on my experiences with people who call themselves “positive” and promote “positive thinking”, as well as people who have been branded “negative”. By definition I do not consider myself to be either one of these people.
Back in 2005, when I started listening to Synergy and the late Achievement Radio on Live365, I was engrossed in the whole New Age thinking thing. But I was always troubled by this idea of people separating themselves (and others) into “positive” and “negative” groups.
For those new to New Age thinking: one of the most prominent ideas is that we have to hang around “positive” people, and develop “positive thinking” (that will enrich us and give us untold wealth), and stay away from “negative” people and “negative thinking” (that will drain us and create poverty, illness and all things bad). Most people are happy to interpret this in black and white, and only hang around people whom they see as being “positive”; however it goes against another important New Age principle: that we are all connected, and part of a “whole”.
Since 2005, after immersing myself in personal development and life improvement, it became apparent that – just as I defined the difference between negative thinkers and negative people – there are genuine positive people and there are people who call themselves positive, but are really those who are looking out for themselves.
Here is my view on the differences between the two. If you want to add or correct any of these, please feel free to comment.
A genuine positive person wants to share their happiness with other people.
A so-called positive person wants to brag about their happiness.
A genuine positive person (as far as I know) inspires and motivates other people to succeed, either through supporting others or demonstrating that certain things can be done.
A so-called positive person causes resentment for their happiness, because they trivialise the steps they took to reach that stage (if they took any steps at all).
A genuine positive person genuinely cares about other people and their lives, but also takes care of themselves.
A so-called positive person cares only about themselves. They might say they care about other people, but they’ll show their true colours if their happy mood is under threat.
A genuine positive person respects and accepts others for who they are, wherever they are in life.
A so-called positive person looks down on people who – lets say – aren’t on the same “level”. Unless, of course, they themselves are in a low mood.
A genuine positive person will go out of their way to give someone a shoulder to cry on, or will find someone better-suited who can.
A so-called positive person will tell someone they “need help”.
Genuine positive people highlight what’s good about people, and suggest improvements.
So-called positive people emphasise what’s wrong with people, and demand change.
Genuine positive people have your back.
So-called positive people threaten to leave if you don’t “sort yourself out”.
A genuine positive person pulls (or rather helps) people up, without necessarily lowering themselves.
A so-called positive person will drop someone, or kick them while they’re down, just so they can stay upright.
A genuine positive person knows when they can’t help someone.
A so-called positive person has a “sentence solution” for everything.
Genuine positive people encourage you to face your fears and be proactive about problems (alliteration unintended).
So-called positive people encourage you to keep things bottled up; if not directly, by the way they react to whatever you say.
Genuine positive people love themselves.
So-called positive people are in love with themselves.
The best way I can sum up what I’ve been saying is by paraphrasing Macka B’s song Buppy (in fact the whole song is worth listening to): When you’re up a so-called positive person’s your brother; when you’re down they’ll put you down some more.
What do you think?
Tags: Experiences, Happiness, Negative Thinking, New Age, Personal Development, personality, Positive Thinking, Principle
Comments
2 responses to “Positive People: a DREWspective on what they AIN’T”