DREWspective

As someone who has had ongoing problems with social interaction, depression, employment, discrimination and a whole load of other stuff I can’t be bothered to name right now, I probably don’t have any right to tell people what to do, say or think.

But I do know one thing: to be happy in life, you must have connections with other people. I realised that a long time ago, and it took my recruitment agent to remind me earlier today.

Other people are crucial to any kind of happiness, from wellbeing right on up to your career. Brian Tracy said in one of his seminars: a person who is known and liked by many other people can go all the way to the Presidency, while someone who is talented, but had no friends, would end up working under someone who does.
When I look at how my life turned out, it seemed that people around me knew that from the start. They might have seen that I was an extremely talented, creative person, who could potentially change the world. We can’t have that, they decided, so they made sure I was cut off from everybody and had no reliable friends or relationships. (That does sound paranoid, but anything is possible.)

What very few people realise (or care about) is that you must have connections with the right kind of people. All too often popular culture looks down on outcasts and "loners", and insist they "get out more". But it may be that "getting out more" only puts them in contact with people who don’t serve them well.

Unless you were very sadistic, you wouldn’t suggest to a black person that they should join the [group with people who wear white pointed hoods]. So why assume that they can just form bonds with any old person?

What even less people realise is that finding a place where you can form connections with the right kind of people isn’t always straightforward. These days it’s all well and good for your typical, loudmouth, promiscuous nobody: they have pubs, night clubs and almost all kinds of social settings. There are some who don’t like that crowd.

Unfortunately, I don’t have any answers to how to solve the connections crisis. The solution to solving these personal problems, I’ve found, is very personal to the person going through them. I hope you find yours, if you have one.