Drew on: Friends
I’ve talked about it a fair bit on DREWspective already, but as with a lot of things I talk about a lot, it’s an important subject for me. Friends are the one most important thing that has been missing in my life, and it pisses me off because I could have gone so much further with them.
Don’t get me wrong: I have friends, and I used to have a lot more. Or at least, I thought I had them. Around 90% of the people I thought were friends turned out to be bad friends; around 8% of the rest were people that I somehow managed to drive away. I am grateful for the few people who have stuck around long enough, though. Being my friend is one of the most challenging things you’ll ever undertake. 
Here I’m comparing my definition of a good friend with that of a bad friend. Some of my points you’ll agree with; some you won’t. Either way, I would like to hear your views and maybe some comparisons of your own.
| Good friends… | Bad friends… |
|---|---|
| Make time for you | Never have time for you Make excuses for not having time for you |
| Want you around | Don’t care if you’re dead or alive |
| Respond to what you’ve said | Respond to what they think they’ve heard Respond with what they’ve planned to say |
| Help you up when you’re down | Kick you when you’re down Ignore you when you’re down |
| Sympathise with your low mood | Take your low mood personally |
| Offer to help | Tell you what to do |
| Thinks for themselves | Sides with everybody else against you Sides with you against everybody else |
| Admit when they can’t help [in the way that you want them to] | Threaten to leave if you don’t change [instantly] |
| Listen to what you have to say | Interrupt |
| Accept you for who you are at the moment | Insist you have to change / conform to be liked |
| Tell you the truth | Tell you what you want to hear |
| Give you feedback | Give you criticism / call you names |
| Says positive as well as negative things about you | Says only negative things about you Says only positive things about other people |
| Care about other people as well as you | Care only about themselves / people on their "level" |
| Is there when you need them | Run away, or prefer to be with other people, when you need them |
| Are around regardless of your mood | Are only around when you’re in the same (or better) mood |
| Consider how you feel | Are concerned only with how they feel |
| Encourage you to think for yourself | Tell you what to think |
| Encourage you to express yourself | Prevent you from expressing yourself Make you feel uncomfortable when trying to express yourself (e.g. making fun, "getting offended") |
| Try to understand the nature of your problems | Blame you for your problems (nobody else is responsible) |
| Treat you just as well as their other friends | Prioritise you lower than their other friends |
| Involve you in activities | Avoid doing things because you’re involved somehow Leave you out of activities Ignore you |
| Demonstrate that you are significant to them | Demonstrate that you are insignificant to them |
| Never encourage you to do things that could hurt or harm you | Lead you astray / mislead you |
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